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What Is Santa Clause Doing Now ?

Posted 11 months ago|3 comments|337 views
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Perhaps the middle of June is not the time to think about Santa Clause. After all the presents that fat old bastard got you are all but forgotten and it's not late enough in the year to begin thinking of, "Jolly ole saint Nick". Right? Well perhaps you might be wrong! It's true that the summer hasn't quite got into full swing yet and it's usually not until late fall when the whirlwind back to school and Halloween hoopla has wound down that true believers and their parents start putting together their Santa wish lists and paraphernalia to get into the spirit of Christmas. But just what the heck do you think Christmas is that you think you can get into it, a pair of pants?

I'm sorry! Let me back up a bit. It's not exactly fair that I blame you the reader for being disrespectful to Santa Clause or the spirit of Christmas because after all I do not know you. As far as I know you could very well be good loyal Santa Clausist. Fallowing that jolly ole jelly belly elf through out all his escapades, no matter what part of the year it is. Which brings me to my thought exercise for this essay: What is Santa Clause doing right now? The commonsense response will be taking it easy because he does work his elf suit off on Christmas eve, enough to earn at least a summer break. But be realistic, could he afford to do so if he were committed to the task set before him?

I'm not going to pretend I know his day to day schedule but good wire tapping information courtesy of the old Bush Jr. administration violation on average American's privacy has provided a few clues. It turns out that Santa is not actually alone out there putting toys under Christmas trees. The reality might actually be that there are millions of people doing the job for him. Which leads me to wonder how he pays for all that help. I think Santa Clause runs a full time business operation during his off months. One that makes enough revenue to hire all that extra help at the end of the year. What do you think?
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COMMENTS
Altruist
Altruist
Eugene, OR
11 months ago: Santa reminds me of all of the small scale farmers and ranchers i know that have to work full time at another job to keep the ranch going.

No doubt the North Pole is a socialist commune where Santa and all of his elves work ceaselessly producing the raw material underground and then doing all of the manufacturing just because they like to work and enjoy helping others.

Perhaps the tooth fairy and the Easter Bunny also work full time to support their philanthropy.

Or maybe they don't work at all. Maybe they hire wall street traders or hedge fund managers and get their billions by manipulating markets and by speculating on currencies that they have the power to manipulate. Maybe they are getting their billions by loaning out money to all of the bankrupt nations in the world so they can get the interest. All it takes to make money is more money. It doesn't take any actual physical work - you hire others for that - and the thinking too.

Maybe they don't really have to pay all of the elves who do all of the work. Maybe they are slaves and Santa is really a Republican.
Out Of The Box
Out Of The Box
 Moderator
11 months ago: Maybe Santa is a Liberal, and uses the gifts as a way to coerce people into being docile ("good"). He's certainly the ultimate "big brother". "He knows when you've been sleeping, he knows when you're awake. He knows when you've been good or bad...."

Along those same lines, he quits being so generous about the same time the children quit believing that they should wait for a handout.
11 months ago: It is interesting how politically charged a June conversation about Santa Clause can be.

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