Offbeat

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The Piss Taker - A Short Story

Posted 21 months ago|15 comments|637 views
Written by
"The sharp smell of piss assailed his nostrils. Cold weather diminishes strong smells. That's why women wear stronger parfume in the winter. Heavier, sweeter, yet fleeting, the second the icy wind whisks it away. Fairbank felt pressure building in his heart.

"They're coming" he thought to himself.

Hunched down into his shawl, like a turtle, he turned his body. The plastic door of a battered honeywagon hung open. What happened to the pissoirs?

He gripped the stake. The pivotal moment in his life was descending. Too late he realized, he was holding a steak. That was a flaw. Damn."

One of the entries of a 100 Word Short Story contest.
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COMMENTS
Gregoire
Gregoire
21 months ago: I am either dense or foolish enough to hazard a guess...or both.
Vampires using porta potties as coffins?
I have never mistaken a steak for a stake...unless it was that cold?

Enquiring minds...
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markbyrn
markbyrn
 Moderator
21 months ago: I didn't select this post as the rave of the day, nor did I push it to Google, and I don't push my own posts to Google, especially since the only post I've made as a moderator is the failed moderator post. If I have the power to select the Rant or Rave of the day, I don't know how. I must admit I did delete one post that was an advertisement for products and I did delete one fetid comment.
21 months ago: its not Rave of the day.
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21 months ago: oops. Just noticed. Err.......well, hmmm........sorry. Surely there are better raves out there? This really was just intended as......well, offbeat.
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21 months ago: 1 of them is a RINO.

21 months ago: It is provocative at that.
21 months ago: I don't know the so-called "crew" . I just write my stuff. If its accepted, great. If not, I try to do better. As far as them being anti-southern, I can only speak of my own experience: you guys from the South seem to be omnipresent. In fact, I find this site pretty conservative. Again, this is based on my very brief time here.

I haven't gotten the impression that "they" are trying to run "you" off. Quite the contrary: you guys are pretty vitriolic and make no bones about your position, which is fine. But you guys get pretty......er.......angry. Again, no problem with that. That's what this site is for, no?

If you have a problem with the choices made regarding the rant/rave of the, why don't you write something better? And may the best post win.

21 months ago: FYI, we're angry about what's being done to our childrens' future.
21 months ago: Mr. Redstateguy: this particular post is about short stories and has nothing to do with politics.

21 months ago: Look, guys, we are all in the same business, no? And the good thing about writing, is that you don't have to get it right the first time. Some writing is better, some is worse, some is crap. But we always have the chance to do better next time. And having a site like this to experiment with so many topics is great.

Long live diversity. And different opinions.
Altruist
Altruist
Eugene, OR
21 months ago: So back to the mystery of the short story. Did the honey wagon simply spoil his appetite or is there some deeper meaning I am missing?
21 months ago: nope. No deeper meaning. Just ended up taking the piss out of the Vampire craze.

It was just a writing exercise (5 words given, use them for a short story of 100 words)

Paper Tiger
Paper Tiger
England
21 months ago: Hi sorry to be a pain

I don't understand your story, any of it? Is this topic exclusive to the USA or is there a wider issue. Would you please explain the story to me.

Many thanks - Paper Tiger
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21 months ago: read the comments. I've already explained that there is no deeper meaning. It was just done for fun.

And everybody can read into it what they want.....or not. As simple as that.
Altruist
Altruist
Eugene, OR
21 months ago: Let me guess. Perfume, turtle, piss, steak/stake, and wind?

Girls go gaga over these vampire stories, nice to hear from a woman that thinks they stink.

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