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The ACME Duck Contact Lens

Posted 13 months ago|7 comments|772 views
Written by
Paper Tiger
England
Later on the same day, the day of the shoes, I took them off put on a pair of slippers, made myself a cup of strong coffee and went outside and sat on my back step. I could hear a lot of quacking and looking down the garden path there was a duck waddling up the path. On first sight I thought it might be Old Blindy a blind duck friend of mine. Then the duck wandered onto the grass and pecked up a piece of bread.

Anyway, when this duck had eaten it's bread, it picked something up in it's beak and waddled nearer still quacking, but the quacking was muffled as it had something in its beak. The duck stopped by my feet then hopped up onto one of my feet just like Old Blindy.

Looking at the duck, it seemed familiar somehow, it was the same colour as Old Blindy the feet were the same, something had happened and I could not put my finger on it. While giving the duck the once over, he dropped a little box on to my foot. "What's this," I thought? I put on my glasses and picked up the little box. I could not believe my eyes.

Written on the box in tiny gold letters was ACME Duck Contact Lens. Then it dawned on me that this is Old Blindy but now he can see. As my old mate looked up at me I could just make out the little lens in his eye, and as I stared at Old Blindy a tear welled up in his eye. He quacked but it was a deep quack as, I think he had a lump in his throat, and carried on sitting on my foot.

What a wonderful difference these duck contact lens made Old Blindy could now see. Anyway after a while he waddled off, and from the nest in the tree I could hear loads of quacks. Then back Old Blindy came with a vee of little ducks waddling behind him.

So because of the ACME Duck Contact Lens, Old Blindy had found himself a mate and he had brought his children ducks to meet me. Well, I was overcome with emotion his whole life had changed for the better because of ACME Duck Contact Lens.

I said to Old Blindy, "I want to show you something now, and I went and got my new shoes. Lying them on the ground Old Blindy got in one shoe and the kids got in the other. It made my day complete, and all because of ACME.
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COMMENTS
13 months ago: Please. Don't give the medical industry any new ideas. Next thing you will see is doggie condom vendors attached to fire hydrants. Beak? Funny.
Paper Tiger
Paper Tiger
England
13 months ago: There is a big unexplored market out there. Dog jelly, so they don't get stuck when mating. Crocodile shoes, shoes made for crocodiles. Scarfs for giraffes the list is endless.
georgeberaobama
georgeberaobama
Blakely Island, WA
13 months ago: Hi Tiger.

Your blind duck takes me back to when I was a young boy. We had a duck but it did not have any legs. We called it Stumpy. As Stumpy was part of the family we all put our thinking caps on to try to help him.

Then it came to me, we could put Stumpy on a roller skate and he could propel himself along with his wings.

So we fitted Stumpy on a roller skate, it was an ACME skate if I remember, and held him on by putting the leather strap over him. He took to it like a duck to water. Stumpy would wizz up and down the garden and out on the street. You could hear the sound of the roller skate and Stumpy Quacking with joy all over town.

The sad thing was that Stumpy roller skated down to the river and went in. Because the skate was so heavy he sank. I still have the other skate today and when I see in my shed, I made my own shed, a tear forms in my eye.
Paper Tiger
Paper Tiger
England
13 months ago: Great days George.
Great memories too. Things, like a duck sinking, it never leaves you. Did you have any help to get over your grief, as there is a company that deals with youth problems. I think it's called ACME council therapy. Try it if you have any hang ups they will sort them out.
Abelink
Abelink
Carbonado, WA
13 months ago: Well isn't that strange?
Sir I had a pet duck while I was growing up, and that duck had no legs, we called him lucky. After I had built my shed with my ACME hammer, I used the workshop to make some prosthetic legs for my duck. Now I decided to make these artificial legs a bit longer than normal duck legs to give lucky the edge on other ducks. So these legs were about six foot high, which was handy as I was six foot four inches. We could walk along the road together nearly shoulder to shoulder. Lucky would look down on the ducks that bullied him when he was legless and kick them up into the air, what goes around comes around, I used to say.

Anyway, I could be dozing in my comfortable chair and I would hear clanging and banging in the distance, that meant Lucky was on his way. Every now and then I would oil his knee and ankle joints with a brass little oilcan. I will always remember what it said on the bottom of that can, it was, ACME. Sadly Lucky got his metal foot caught in a manhole and got run over by a truck.
friend
friend
England
13 months ago: Run over by a truck? Abe trucks did not exist in your day?
georgeberaobama
georgeberaobama
Blakely Island, WA
13 months ago: As I get older and a lot more stupid I don't worry about how people think I am.
When I was younger things scared me or they were more complicated than I could understand. Now I realize it's the other way round, if it's complicated some twat has made it so to impress who ever, and if somebody tries to scare me then I just swear and threaten them, you would be suprised how many of these so called big men walk away. I am at an age now where I won't take no ****, you would be suprised how many so called names **** themselves and run away.

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