Written by
You can survive in a Marriage when one of you has Bipolar. You just have to be willing to work through the issues, together.
The first thing you need to remember and this is very important.
You can not "Fix" them. They are not broken. This isn't a broken window you can just replace.
It takes some love and understanding to get through the tough times.
Talk and listen. You will have to listen more than talk. Bipolar's tend to be sometimes very chatty. Others they can be quite introverted.
- This is the time to be more about listening.
- Listen to the body language, reactions.
If there body language in public would tell you to leave someone alone. Guess what, that is probably what they want. Remember let sleeping dogs lie. Don't mess with the bull or you'll get the horns. You get the idea right?
When they are in a rage, Do NOT take this as a personal attack. Often things are said in the heat of battle they don't mean. Sometimes, the rage gets so hard to deal with they almost blackout inside. It just wears them out so much.
When he/she goes to Therapy ask if you can go. Often, therapist will see both of you as a sign of treatment of the one afflicted with this disease.
- My first wife went with me. She often felt better.
- Keep in mind, the Therapist does not have to keep information from the Bipolar Patient. (I found out, my first wife wanted to leave Me. 1.5 yrs before she actually left.)
Therapy together is a tough pill to swallow. You may accidentally hit a trigger, which the Bipolar will unfortunately not soon forget.
- This can be exhausting but, you also have to learn his/her triggers.
- Triggers are the situations, actions, words, music that can set off certain mood swings in them.
Too often what most "Normal" people take for granted Bipolar's may obsess over. This too can be emotionally draining for the spouse/significant other. Remember, you might be drained imagine what the person with the disease is going through.
- They can often be left feeling spent and exhausted after only two hours into their day and have to keep going.
- Just wanting to eat, shower, brush teeth can be defeating them.
- Don't be too afraid to encourage them. Sometimes a polite reminder can do wonders for both of you.
When they are sad let them cry. I know it can tear your heart out.
The sobbing and crying can feel so like a small baby weeping. You’re going to want to help them, hold them. Ask first. Sometimes they need to just let it out.
Often this alone can be cathartic for them. It releases some tension that would otherwise, be done in a less positive manner I.E. Cutting, Branding, Attempting Suicide.
Learn to read the signals. Even if you’re wanting to desperately hold
them. Please let them ask for it.
- If they have gone into the bathroom to hide and let it out. Let them.
- Some people are often ashamed that they can neither control nor hide these emotional outbursts. And often, they really have no idea why they are crying. They just get an urge to let it out.
Above all else try to be both honest and understanding with your Bipolar Spouse. If you want to get out of the marriage tell them. The longer you stay the more it will hurt them, later.
Don't be brutal, just be polite and honest. Use words like, "I feel like."