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Spam and Stale Bread

Posted 15 months ago|58 comments|1,153 views
Spam fritters
Written by
Paper Tiger
England
This is down to you Cypress, your spam blogs have brought back memories.

Many many years ago when I was a nipper my school was on an overspill estate that people from the slums of London were moved to to get away from poverty. We lived in a place called South Oxhey and, more or less, we were all in the same boat. My school uniform was a whitish shirt, short trousers and ankle socks. I still remember those awful socks today. Because it was an era where things were not thrown away, my socks did not have any elastic in them. I would pull them up so high that it made my toes curl, than put on my brothers old shoes. I would take one step in those socks and they would slip down into my shoes making a hard lump at the end of my toes, and it looked like I did not have any socks on. The nest item was a snake belt, a big band of coloured rubber fixed with a clasp that looked like a snake. They were always twisted around, but if they broke you could tie a knot in them to hold your trousers up. Finaly, in the summer, I had a long sleeve jumper with holes in the elbows.

Wearing a uniform like that was bad but not nearly as bad as the sandwitch I had to take for my dinner. My mum would by her bread in one go, on a Saturday, so this would be a Friday sandwich. The bread was hard and the corner crusts turned up a little bit, so if you put it down on the table it looked like an ashtray.

There would be a thin spread of margerine and in between two white slabe was spam. Nobody new what it was, what it was made of or why they made it. Wrapped up in a bit of paper off I went to school.

We had a short playtime in the morning and we would all play football, hundreds of us in each team, all chasing after the ball. We would kick anything that was round, the worst balls were the plastic balls with little nobles on. They were so light that if you kicked it hard, it was like a boomarang. It would wobble about in the air then it would turn at right angles and vanish into a garden or somewhere off limits. Often these old balls would puncture, but the game went on, if you were stupid enough to try to head a burst ball, there was a crease in it and it often drew blood of gave a bleck eye.

The next break was dinner break, we were given one third of a pint of milk to go with our lunch. A group of a bout twenty of us sat together on the grass to eat our sandwitch. Some people would swap their sandwitches, as we all know the grass is greener, hoping to get a good swap. I would unwrap my Friday sandwitch shaped like an ashtray and offer to swap with anyone. But alas there were no takers. To give you some idea how bad this sanswitch was, even if a kid had a sugar sandwitch that peson would not swap. Everyone learned a skill that would help them with the rest of their lives, the ability to say no and mean it. There were banana, cheese so thinly cut the mother could have been an engineer.

I would always end up having to eat my spam sandwich, but I could never manage the crusts. Friday sandwitches were the worst of the week as the bread was six days old. My dad knew a man who new a man who could get cheap meat. So Saturday morning in the early hours he would bring in a carrier bag for the weeks meat.

This meat was so tough it was like beef flavoured gum, you could not swallow it until it was chewed for ares. My brother and I used to have big muscular jaws. Then the inevitable happened that meat ended up in my sandwhich. I would take a bite and because I was not strong enough to bite trough the meat, as I pulled the sandwitch away from my face the meat was pulled out of my sandwich. Because meat sandwitches were new on the block, for one day and one day only I could swap one. The look from the person who ended up with the meat sandwich still haunts my dreams today.

So yes I remember spam, but with memories of how horrible it was. Sometimes as you ate it, there would be a crunchy bit in it. I did not, and do not want to know what that crunch was.

Anyway Cypress thanks for bringing back my school days.
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COMMENTS
15 months ago: It looked like an ashtray? Dang.
Paper Tiger
Paper Tiger
England
15 months ago: I take it that you don't like curly hard bread then?
15 months ago: I have had plenty of it forced upon me. See this post..

http://www.rantrave.com/Rant/Salute-to-o...
Paper Tiger
Paper Tiger
England
15 months ago: Hi Cypress.

I didn't know you were a grunt. At Capenders Park, just over the railway lines we had a US military base, it was there from 1958 to about 2000. We used to go up to the base and have a go on an American bike, you had to back peddle to brake. When one of the Yanky kids got a new bike we would trade with them for their fat small wheels. We would then make our own bikes with a big wheel in the front, your fat wheels would not fit at the front, and a small U.S. wheel at the back. We would get cowhorn handle bars and ride around like we were in the film of Easy Rider. We also sprayed our bikes some strange colours too.
Abelink
Abelink
Carbonado, WA
15 months ago: Good day PT. In the mist this morning, I just popped out to get a newspaper, and I bumped into George A. Hormel. We had a little chat about Spam and this is what he told me

"In Austin I started his meat-processing empire in 1891, and where Spam, the canned meat product, was invented in 1937. Spam is made Chopped pork shoulder (yum), ham meat, sugar, salt, water, and sodium nitrite, a colour preservative. It is the stuff of lunchtime lore, dubbed "mystery meat"

"Then I went to the library and found this:"
A naming contest in the early 1930's determined the mysterious moniker that is Spam, which is a product engendered by the Hormel Foods Corporation. The name change was suggested due to a loss in market shares and was an attempt at reviving the product in supermarkets. It originated in Austin, Minnesota, aptly nicknamed "Spam Town USA," and has sold over 6 million cans in the United States. Spam is the bits left from any meat processing so anything could be in it. There is also a Spam fan club.
Paper Tiger
Paper Tiger
England
13 months ago: Hi Abe
Do you eat ghost food in the mist?
georgeberaobama
georgeberaobama
Blakely Island, WA
13 months ago: Re; There is also a Spam fan club.

Do you think they would let me join?
georgeberaobama
georgeberaobama
Blakely Island, WA
13 months ago: Spam and fries was my number 1 meal
georgeberaobama
georgeberaobama
Blakely Island, WA
13 months ago: Spam and fries was my number 1 meal
friend
friend
England
13 months ago: I am already a member I like a bit of spam now and again.
Paper Tiger
Paper Tiger
England
15 months ago: If I remember correctly there was Luncheon meat that was very like Spam, a tin full of ****.
15 months ago: Good rave! It takes me back too PT...

Was the other other other tinned "meat" called Prem?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jackieinmi/...

Paper Tiger
Paper Tiger
England
15 months ago: Prem?

We did not get that over here, thank God!
amishking
amishking
 Moderator
Auburn, NY
15 months ago: I found cans of Prem today at the dollar store. Never saw it before, but after reading this post yesterday, I noticed it. Funny. I believe the other kind of canned meat is "Treet"?
My wife and I are on a new diet that seems to be working, so I no longer get to eat spam, it's one of my favorites.
Nice post.
15 months ago: Good on you Moderator A King!
Paper Tiger
Paper Tiger
England
15 months ago: Hi
I found cans of Prem today at the dollar store. Never saw it before, but after reading this post yesterday, I noticed it. Funny.

Thats the power of advertising, you will be buying a few tins soon. How can spam be anybodies favorite?
15 months ago: What are you talking about PT, it's great!
Especially the clear coagulated gelatin from the boiled bones, skins and tendons of animals... nummy!
Paper Tiger
Paper Tiger
England
15 months ago: Hi Truth
Don't forget the cow lips!
Paper Tiger
Paper Tiger
England
15 months ago: Re: Especially the clear coagulated gelatin from the boiled bones.

Thats what they used to make glue out of. We had a glue factory near us, in Harrow, the smell was terrible.
georgeberaobama
georgeberaobama
Blakely Island, WA
13 months ago: They also crunch up the teeth and hooves.
15 months ago: I love spam yum yum
Paper Tiger
Paper Tiger
England
15 months ago: Re: I love spam.

There are things in spam that nobody dares to talk about. It's a global secret, but I'll let you into a secret, you know the little crunchy things in a tin of spam, well they are bits of pigs teeth.
15 months ago: eeeeeww didn't need to know that :)
georgeberaobama
georgeberaobama
Blakely Island, WA
13 months ago: Tiger
Lets swap secrets, if you tell me what is in spam, I will give you the latest on area 51 deal?
georgeberaobama
georgeberaobama
Blakely Island, WA
13 months ago: Tiger
Lets swap secrets, if you tell me what is in spam, I will give you the latest on area 51 deal?
Paper Tiger
Paper Tiger
England
15 months ago: Cypress that splodge on the plate you showed me looked like puke.
15 months ago: I agree lol
15 months ago: Ah! But did you watch the video?
Paper Tiger
Paper Tiger
England
15 months ago: Hi Truth.
I looked at your link about prem, Prem on toast covered in mushroom soup, Yak. The advert is not telling the truth, it says that with a tin of Prem and a tin of mushroom soup you can make this. Where did the tomatoes come from?
15 months ago: Paper,

Ah... if you look closer it is even grosser.... those are apricots!
And I don't have a clue where they or the garnish came from... like spam it just appears!
Paper Tiger
Paper Tiger
England
15 months ago: Hi Truth

Mystery Meat, Why put apricots with it, that makes it doulble disgusting. Maybe they had a glut of apricots they needed to get rid of?
15 months ago: Tiger,

I'm gonna run a little with this... it could be that if you eat the apricot seeds inside the pit, it will cure you of the cancer you would normally get from this disgusting substitute for real food?!?

There is at least some evidence on the apricot seed part...
http://www.rantrave.com/Rave/Forbidden-C...
15 months ago: I forgot to mention that the disgusting stuff called Prem tastes great with enough mustard... we were raised on it... could be why I twitch when I get close to it.
Paper Tiger
Paper Tiger
England
15 months ago: Hi Truth.
Mustard! we did not have any fancy garnishes like mustard in my sandwitch, mustard indeed, you must have come from the posh part of town.
15 months ago: Well, you know I still remember lard sandwiches...
Out Of The Box
Out Of The Box
 Moderator
15 months ago: And fried pork fat on a biscuit.
15 months ago: After rendering the lard out... we would put the "cracklins" on a piece of bread... got to admit with a little salt... I'm not even kidding, YUM!
Out Of The Box
Out Of The Box
 Moderator
15 months ago: No kidding, YUM!!!! And even better mixed in with the cornbread batter. Cracklin' bread, we called it.

Grandma used to tell us it was good for us, to eat pork fat, as long as you stayed active. I thought she was just making it up. Now scientists and nutritionists are saying the same thing. The unsaturated fats fight LDLs and increase the HDLs. Reckon that's why my family doesn't have heart attacks, and live into their 90s and 100s.
Paper Tiger
Paper Tiger
England
15 months ago: Hi Truth

Lard sandwiches, we called it dripping. On a Monday we had bread and dripping sanwiches left from the Sunday dinner. It was the **** at the bottom of the pan. The lard would float to the top. Under that lard were a jelly mixed with little bits of brown stuff. We called it 'secret.
Paper Tiger
Paper Tiger
England
15 months ago: Hi Box.

We have pork scratchings in little bags over here. The look like a lepers toe nails.

I have just realised that I have been spelling sandwichs incorrectly. I told you my spelling was slack.
Out Of The Box
Out Of The Box
 Moderator
15 months ago: Maybe the apricots were from something the diner ate previously. Ewwwwww!
Paper Tiger
Paper Tiger
England
15 months ago: Hi Box or is it Mr Moderator. Well done my friend.

Surley though Box if the apricots were from an earlier meal their shape and colour would have changed?
Out Of The Box
Out Of The Box
 Moderator
15 months ago: Thanks. I would think the texture at least would be a bit altered. And it's stil Out of the Box, for now. But I'm toying with a new name....how does "Off With His Head" sound? A bit pretentious maybe?
15 months ago: OOTB,

I knew you were above your pay grade, congrats!
How about "Out Of This World?"
Paper Tiger
Paper Tiger
England
15 months ago: Hi Box.
Nah it's not pretentious, here maybe you could turn RR into a blog boot camp? We would have to end all our blogs with,"Sir, yes, Sir," And we could do our blogs like we were running and singing at the same time. Like this maybe?

Rant Rave is my favourite site,
All the rest are sacks of s**te,
We are the best in the land,
We don't stick our heads in sand.

Do you think it will take off?

15 months ago: Or just OO7?
Out Of The Box
Out Of The Box
 Moderator
15 months ago: PT
I think we have our new cadence.

TB
Man, I wish I had thought of that one!
Paper Tiger
Paper Tiger
England
15 months ago: Re:PT
I think we have our new cadence.

TB
Man, I wish I had thought of that one!

Well thats gone straight over my head?
14 months ago: TB.....Splain it TB...You know how everyone on this site loves people that are "The". Sunny, step one...Finger down the throat...Step two, Alka Seltzer...step three, butt wipes and dis-infectant...step four, an nice boss.
14 months ago: Out Of The Box...OOTB
Out Of This World...OOTW
Or God's special agent... OO7 ...using capital o's instead of zero's,
and God's special number '7' ...Out Of Seven (or product of 7)

Anyway... just having some random fun...
sunny2
sunny2
13 months ago: Nice Cypress. No class.
sunny2
sunny2
14 months ago: you guys are actually making me sick.
sunny2
sunny2
14 months ago: Very Funny....
Paper Tiger
Paper Tiger
England
13 months ago: I just thought I would mention Kidney Soup
friend
friend
England
13 months ago: Mmmm I love kidney soup
sunny2
sunny2
13 months ago: This is so wierd.
sunny2
sunny2
13 months ago: Paper Tiger I found your topic interesting. Here in the States it was tough but parents always managed. I went to a Catholic School and had to eat every single scrap before I left the lunchroom. I hated being forced.
sunny2
sunny2
Content Removed by sunny2
sunny2
sunny2
8 months ago: I know this is an older post. My most recent memory of Spam is from a couple of years ago when a friend of mind's daughter went out on a date to see the Play Spamalot and her date bought her a can of this horrible tasting substance to take home. That was heartless. She never saw him again.

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