It’s no shocker that the kind of man who would build a mechanized bar stool on wheels would also be the type of person to drive said bar stool while heavily intoxicated, crash, and call 911.
According to an Ohio police report, Kile Wygle, 28, crashed his bar stool near his Newark home and called 911 due to his injuries. When an officer arrived and asked Wygle what happened, he truthfully answered, “I wrecked my bar stool.” Wygle proudly added that the stool was capable of 38 miles per hour.
A plastered Wygle, who admitted to drinking 15 beers, was charged with DUI and driving with a suspended license, both misdemeanors. His bar stool was not impounded.
At least they weren’t felonies. Wygle would be quite the stool pigeon.