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How to watch a television machine.

Posted 20 months ago|5 comments|547 views
Typical monochrome photograph of b&w TV.
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Many present-day fun-lovers have never seen a television, let alone had a chance to watch one.

So, if you are fortunate enough to have access to one of these old-time wonders, you might appreciate a few tips on how to enjoy it.

A television, much like a gramophone or radiogram, is best placed on a low table or fastened to a wall.

Although televisions feature a 'viewing screen', much like your laptop, televisions are best enjoyed at a distance of six to twenty feet, rather than on a desk in front of you. If the viewing screen is non-functional, you may actually be in possession of a radio.

To get your television or 'TV' going, plug it into an electrical outlet, much as you would a toaster. The TV connects to an early of wifi via an "air-socket" or "antenna" - a component that is normally manufactured from wire coat hangers by skilled TV craftspersons.

The television will most likely take a few minutes to warm up, but this period can be shortened by the application of a warm compress or gentle flame.

Televisions display moving pictures and emit sounds so, in this sense, TVs may appear to be based on something like YouTube, or "YT". However the videos shown on television often extend for well over 10 minutes at a time.

To ensure your television emits premium quality sounds you may need to purchase, or steal, new 'needles'. The more modern models of TV, however, do not require needles at all. There is no olfactory component to normal television broadcasts, so smell cups are not required.

Once you have settled comfortably in a chair or bean bag in front of your warmly glowing television it is time to "tune" your television to a "channel" with the supplied tuning fork. There may well be more than five or six channels to choose from, so really there is something for everybody, whether they be fans of sports, news or game shows. However, if the television is very old, these shows will be embarrasingly out of date.

There is much pleasure to be had in watching and listening to a television and, with a little practice, the television should have you asleep in no time at all.
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COMMENTS
Paper Tiger
Paper Tiger
England
20 months ago: Hi Stan

I was always told to sit three times the screen size away from the tv.
20 months ago: That seems reasonable.
20 months ago: For better reception, and those who don't live in a big city, the antenna should be placed outside, on a pole, and will not be made of coat hangers but purchased from a reputable supplier, otherwise you better be a good coat hanger bender with some math skills!

Since I don't have cable or satellite, I am very familiar with the joys of antennas and broadcast TV. Some jerk in Washingtion ruined my viewing pleasure and cost me quite a few bucks by changing the format. Now if the signal is a little weak, I don't get the channel, where as before, it was just a little snowy. I'd rather have snowy than no picture at all.
20 months ago: Didn't they all go digital? Oh, forgot, got a pass on the mandated date for conversion. Since ABC, CBS and NBC are using the peoples airwaves to send their self promotional and anti-We the People messages. Why does cable charge extra for the ahem...re-broadcast...? Ain't it free?

Seems that those government sponsored and government allowed to transmit over our air waves companies should pay us for the addition of their onesided propaganda that we have to click by.
Out Of The Box
Out Of The Box
 Moderator
20 months ago: I actually own one of those TeeVee sets. The one I have sits atop my bureau in my bedroom, and I look at it for at least 4 minutes almost every night. Then I wake up in the middle of the night and turn it off. I haven't made it past the first commercial in years. Now, when I go somewhere else and a television is on, I immediately start to feel sleepy.

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