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BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!Cap and Trade almost here!!!
The government, headed by Barrack Obama has discovered the way to stop global warming!
Apparently, American taxpayer dollars have the ability to absorb greenhouse gasses and convert those gasses into something beneficial to the environment. Each dollar can only absorb a small amount, though, and Barrack himself has estimated 680 billion of them will be needed (and acquired from you, the taxpayer) over the next ten years to properly counter the effects caused by the carbon polluting evil energy providers. The beauty of the plan is that the providers will not have to pay the dollars to the government, it is the users of any form of power that get the honor of saving the planet by paying the special CO2 scrubbing dollars. Every time you put a drop of gas in your car, or turn on a light, or buy anything, Cha CHING!, you will be helping to save the planet.
Some of the money, after it has absorbed enough CO2, might be used to further alternative energy projects, such as solar panel production, except that silicon production has been banned in the U.S. due to the pollution created in the process. But we have plenty of third world nations we can pollute that will make the silicon for us.
But we just aren't sure just how wondermous this new discovery will turn out to be. It must be mind-blowing, more than our puny little minds can fathom, because the bulk of it is being kept secret, and even the lawmakers in congress are not being allowed to study it before they have to vote on it.