Written by
1. NASCAR: created by moonshiners as a cover up for their nightly deliveries. SO your telling me a sport where all you are doing is riding around a circular track for 200 plus laps was made by drunkards? ……it all makes sense now.
2. Night clubs: So the first night club was a speak easy were people got together for the simple purpose of drinking, and it continues today with practically the same purpose, less clothes and not illegal.
3. Mini hamburgers: Created with the simple purpose of being able to easily stuff them in your mouth with the minimum amount of hand eye coordination…
4. Bio fuel: Desperately trying to find another use for their dear addiction.
5. Air Stunts: Whisky plus an infinite amount of time equals trying to get on the wing tips of the plane while in the air… I believe the conversation went some thing like this:
Drunk A: Dude you should so go on top of the plane
Drunk B: sure that’s easy its on the ground, that’s like child’s play
Drunk A: oh yeah? Well I bet you can’t do it in the air.
Drunk B: Oh Yeah?
Drunk A: Yeah!
Drunk B: your on! Just make sure you fly strait!
6. Vending Machines: Because nobody is sober enough to get their drinks from a bartender anymore…(he’s drunk too…)
7.Television: Awwwwwww like star crossed lovers kept apart until this fated moment. ( can’t you just see them running towards each other in slow motion? Yes. Televisions can run.)
8. Frozen Food: come on its like a love triangle: TV, alcohol, and frozen dinners…it’s the invention of the bad dad.
9. Band aid: it had to come up eventually … tons of decision inhibiting liquids and long amounts of time seems to be detrimental to ones health.
10. Lie Detector: the pre cursor to the breathalyzer except a lot bigger.