i tell you what, kids. for all of you that go out and find it necessary to use coupons, and tell the cashier your life story; i hate you. I go to wal-mart today to get soap. ALL I WANTED WAS SOAP! however, i was able to be blessed with more than soap this evening. i now know that the ugly, chain smoking cow of a woman in front of me: lives in a trailer park, has like 5 kids, buys the orange extension chords so she won't run them over when she plugs in her "mobile home" and also likes the way Dove shampoo fluffs her hair. fabulous. So, after mumbling my usual spurt of hateful and bigoted words, i proceeded to pack up and move to the next register. there was one person in front of me in that line.. just one.. i was there for almost fifteen minutes.. again. This lady, was what we shall call a "Coupon Clown". she sat there insisting her coupon was good for the DVD she was buying. the cashier kept scanning it, and re-scanning it. all the while the bimbo in front was telling her the story of how her dumbass son won the coupon at school for doing a project. i apologize, bimbo isn't the right word. she wasn't good looking and dumb, just dumb and ugly. Finally, her coupon went through and she saved almost $1.50 on a $7.50 movie. times must be tough in the double-wide these days.
you know those giant sticks of jerky or whatever they are in the check-out lines? never in my life have i been so close to knocking a person out with a giant snack item.
so, in closing, if you are one of those people, i hate you. if i'm ever behind you in a line and you cause me to spend longer than is necessary waiting, prepare to have your head smashed in with a king sized pack of sweet tarts (they're deceivingly heavy).
shopping is like using the bathroom, do your doodoo and move on so other people can do theirs.
--- shortly after realizing they were the cause of the weekend check out fiasco across the country hundreds of people just gave themselves fatal paper-cuts to the throat using coupons from Sunday's paper.