Do you know why they call me El Beaner? They call me El Beaner because I was the first one! "The first one to what?", you ask. I was the first to cross your manmade border. I was the first one to get my back wet. I was the first one to eat beans with rice. I was the first one to pick crops in your field for almost no pay. I was the first to endure stereotypes. I was the first illegal in America. Yes I was the first to do all that. Do you believe me?
You don't? Well you are a reasonable person then. Most people believe all that hype. The look at beans as if they never would eat one themselves. They look at El rio Grande as if Americans invented it! The look at their fields of crops and act as if they never paid anybody else except me a pittance to pull them crops out the ground. They pretend as if the Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria were American Cruise Ships coming back from a European Vacation.
I have a real name you know, but I don't think I will tell it to you. Oh I know you are a reasonable person but chances are you will not remember it even if I do tell it to you. It may involve having to remember to roll your R's one to many time or it may involve pronouncing your vowels differently. Heck, if you do pronounce it you will probably insist on pronouncing it wrong so why should I even bother? Just call me El beaner. It makes you feel better anyway. What is that, you say? "Why do I speak so articulately ?" Oh Senor, I so sorry to step outside me position but I am a learned Beaner. I am full of surprises!