Written by
My name is Kurt Kuerstiner. A few years ago while traveling on a bus, I encountered a pamphlet for The Church of the Subgenius. I thought it was a funny satire on religion. I bought some books on the subject, all published by this so-called Church. They were very amusing, but had a disturbing sub text of hate and violence. Yet I continued buying their products, because every time I got concerned, I was reassured that the Subgenius Church was a parody on other religions and was not to be taken seriously. A few years later, I went to film school and was asked to do a thesis film. I thought, "Why not do documentary on the Church of the Subgenius?" I spent three months working on that film.
What I discovered in the process really began to worry me...
I met The Church of the Subgenius "Hierarchy" up close and in person. Most of them seemed like nice people, but the the more I heard them talk, the more obvious it was that the "Joke" wasn't all fun and games. SOME of these people REALLY BELIEVE in a god named "Bob" and that he will return to Earth on July 5th, 1998 with an alien army and take over the world.
And now for the sick part: Guess what happens to the disbelievers who DON'T believe in "Bob"? We're slated for mass extermination. Hilarious, huh?
I'm ashamed to say that at the time, I was too embarrassed to be the only person critical about what these people were promoting. This all took place in the early 90s, and 1998 seemed a long way off. I figured this wacky cult would burn out and disappear over time. Instead, it has grown. As July 5th, 1998 got closer and closer, I began to wonder, what if a handful of Subgenius Followers actually do something drastic on what they consider the last day of Earth?
Fortunately, "X-day" came and went without any deaths (and certainly without any alien invasions). But did the cult say they were wrong or disappear? No. Instead, they said X-day could be ANY YEAR on July 5th. Only the subgenius "leaders" know what year X-day will occure, and they won't reveal it to anyone else. They claim it's secret so that the "attack" will be a surprise for society.
I'm suspicious that the entire 1998 date was a red herring designed to discredit what few critics and watchdog groups were challenging the Subgenius Church. Now it's even more difficult to convince people of the danger this group represents. For a good example of this problem, check out the Boston Globe article of July 4, 1998 by clicking here: http://www.modemac.com/media1/1998_boston-globe_7-4.html
I've called and written many law enforcement agencies and tried to alert them to this threat. Most of them think I'm crazy or making it all up. "A God named 'Bob'? Right..." and hang up. The few who check into it are quickly fooled by what the Church of the Subgenius is all about. They believe the church leaders who claim it's all an innocent joke, or wring their hands and say they can't do anything because nothing illegal has happened yet.
Nothing illegal? Telling people to kill other people isn't illegal? Am I the only person that has a problem with this?
Since first posting this page, I recieved hundreds of angry letters, mostly from Subgenius members, saying I was a nut case because I predicted a disaster. This was the EXACT paragraph I posted back in 1997:
Meanwhile, July 5th, 1998 is fast approaching. I see nothing on the news, read nothing about it in the newspapers and nobody seems to care. Time is running out and the Subgenius Church has met no resistance or even an investigation, all because they were smart enough to wrap their little conspiracy in the disguise of "humor". Amazing!
Well, we all know what's happened since then, don't we? High schools across America have been riddled with shootings. Literally DOZENS of kids have been shot in class by weirdoes carrying guns. We've been told they were satanic or thhat they were outcasts. That they didn't fit in. All these are typical traits of Subgenius members. The two kids who killed their classmates at Littleton were Subgenius fans. They made references on their websites to it (before it was taken down) and said in their video that they wanted to "kill normals". That's an EXACT catch from from the Church of the Subgenius. The Media went on and on about these kids membership with the so called "trench coat mafia", but didn't mention ANYTHING about the Subgenius cult. I don't know that such a mafia exists, but I know for dead certain that the Subgenius cult is real and growing. They have books, weekly radio shows, ads to TV (MTV), and a giant website. The media seemed to ignore all this. They also soft peddled the fact that the two killers were homosexuals (something the Subgenius Church encouranges along with other forms of deviancy, including gender switching, drugs, and rock & roll).
I predicted something bad would happen while others said I was crazy. Unfortunately, I was right. And now I predict something bad will happen again. The year 2,000 is here, and everyone knows about the symbolic importance of the new millinium. I fear other subgenius kids (or even Subgenius adults!) will do similar stunts to get attention. Maybe it will be in a school, or subway, or who knows what. Will somebody listen to me in time? Or will more people die and then I have to say yet again, "I tried to warn you, but no one would listen..."
Sometimes the "wait and see" attitude can get people killed. History has taught us this many, many times. Nobody took that suicide cult in Japan seriously until it murdered dozens of innocent commuters. Here in America, nobody interfered with the Jonestown cult, or the Ranch Davidians, or Heavensgate until the dead piled up. Someone has got alert the public about this cult before more people die!
What can YOU do? Well, here's a few suggestions based on what I do.
1. I call any and all phone-in talk shows when the topic has to do with religion, hate groups, or violence. They need to be alerted to the agenda of the Subgenius Church and the cult it represents.
2. I write letters to government officials urging a serious investigation of this cult without further delay. Start with your local representatives and work your way upward.
3. I write editorials to newspapers to alert the public to the threat. (If you don't get published the first time, don't give up!)
4. I monitor Subgenius Internet activity, especially "subgenius.com" and the "alt.slack" news groups. I document these postings as evidence for the authorities (assuming they ever get off their bottoms and investigate).
5. I submit this URL address to as many search engines as possible and try to link it to any home pages that care about the danger cults like these pose.
6. I warn friends with children in school to be on the lookout for subgenius slogans like "slack" or "Bob", or the clip art of the man with the pipe. Warn their teachers to watch out for it too. The best way to stop the growth of this cult is to nip it in the bud.
7. Alert your church leaders about this group and encourage them to address the issue during Church sometime. ANYTHING you can do to GET THE WORD OUT is helpful!
8. If you know anyone in the media that wants the scoop of the century, tell them to contact me and do a story on this group. Right now the public only knows about the Subgenius what the Subgenius leaders want them to know. It's time to remove the comic camouflage and expose this cult for what it really is.
I'm working on other ideas and I'll post them here as soon as they're finalized. My greatest hope is that no further incidents occure and this cult eventually peters out. But unfortunately, they only seem to grow over time. They have nationwide recognition, as evidenced by them winning TIME MAGAZINE's "Fraud of the Century" poll (page 34, Jan 1, 2000 issue). You don't out poll O.J. Simpson or Gerraldo Rivera in a world wide internet survey without some MAJOR name recognition.
I've seen these guys in action. They have many connections in the media, they hold concerts (which they call "devivals") and they have a HUGE following. I went to Marathon Key in South Florida and even the high school kids down there knew about The Church of the Subgenius! The same goes for kids I met in Alabama, California, and Illinois. It's like some rock 'n roll fad except it doesn't promote music, it promotes HATE. It is inconceivable that at least someone, somewhere, isn't going to be hurt more people, especially since the leaders always seem to get away with it.
Would you like to see my 20 minute documentary (entitled "Church of the Subgenius: Sect? Satire? or Satanism?" -- Internet Movie Database entry at http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0829121/) and witness first hand what this is all about? I'll tell you right now that I made this film while I was still uncertain about the true nature of this cult, and it's tame in comparison to what I would do now if I had the same access. For one thing, I'd be much less polite to the leaders interviewed in the movie (who predictably, won't talk to me anymore after I started exposing their agenda). It's obvious in retrospect that I was, like so many other people, "taken in". But a viewer can still see how these people operate behind the scenes and how they fool millions. Fortunately, information is the key to exposing these people, and all the important facts are included in this film. To order the video, send $20 (plus $3.20 shipping and handling) to:
Kurt Kuerstiner, 2255 Ten Oaks, Tallahassee FL 32312.
Please allow three to six weeks for your DVD to arrive. I suggest you send check or money order, since cash can get lost in the mail. I also offer this tape to overseas citizens. (Yes, it's THAT vast. The Subgenius Church broadcasts a weekly radio show through out the US and Canada, and worldwide via the internet. They have people write their newsgroups from Europe and Asia.) Overseas folks, please include $7 for Shipping and add "USA" to my address. You can also e-mail me at this address: KyrtK@aol.com
I should also mention that I would be glad to accept any contributions to help me in my crusade, even if they are not of a monetary nature. Blank tapes, stamps, contacts within the law enforcement community that care about things like this or addresses of other cult watching groups. Any help is appreciated!
I'm also compiling a list of ex-subgenius members who have left the church and have pretty scary stories to tell. DAMNING stories of sexual abuse, drug abuse, and especially, MENTAL abuse. If you are one of these people or know where I can find more, please contact me and have them contact me. These eye witnesses are very helpful in presenting my case to the public.
If you wish to see the vast internet presence promoted by www.subgenius.com, click here. (http://www.subgenius.com/) It seems to go on and on and on. I should also warn you, they're very clever about making it all look like entertainment. They even fooled a University into hosting one of their computer sites. (Is that a legal use of tax payer's money?)
Thank you for taking the time to read this and learning how to EXPOSE BOB!