"Greetings Earthlings! We are coming for your precious resources, so stand aside or be blasted by our deathly ray guns and telekinetic power. We would have left you alone were it not for your invasive astrophysicist Stephen Hawking proposing that we were worthy of fear. We simply wanted to humor you and give you reason to watch Harry Connick Jr. and Will Smith team up. Seriously, we had no ill intent, but now that one of our favorite humans has turned, we feel we have no choice. It was bad enough that he postured that we were simply microbial, but now calling us evil as well, that is simply taking it too far. We feel that we really have no choice on the matter. That is unless you can make a deal, like maybe offering Scarlett Johanson as a peace offering. We would just take her, but it is so much more fulfilling to have her offered. We would also settle for Jessica Alba or even Megan Fox. These are our demands of the moment, and we are expecting Hawking to get in contact with us about them. Beware feeble humans."
Transcribed in Anger,
Kronos
This was the incoming message received at 0400 this morning in response to Hawking's "Into the Universe with Stephen Hawking" special on Discovery. Let it be a testament to the beliefs of other theorists that extraterrestrial life is not only real but friendly. Let us not fear the unknown, but embrace it. The truth is indeed out there, but hopefully not as ill intent as Hawking proposes.
Here is a link to the report:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36769422