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Okay, so I've been planning on getting into posting topics more than I have been. As opposed to just commenting on others' rants and raves... But this is NOT how I intended to get on the wagon.
Spiders.
Some of us will even just shiver at the word. And, if you're reading this in the middle of the night, while you're home along, you might want to forego it until it's nice and bright and sunny outside. I'm just warning you.
Spiders.
Why must you invade my house?
Spiders.
Do you really think you'll be better off INSIDE my house, than, say, outside in the garden?
Spiders.
If you MUST be INSIDE my house, could you please abide by the following rules:
1. Do not crawl on the ceilings, where I can not reach you without a chair or step stool. If you are on the ceiling, and I must stand on something to squish you, there is a higher chance that I will get flustered, miss, and you will fall on top of me. This could be bad, if I were to fall off said object, and potentially hit my head and kill myself.
2. Do not crawl on my furniture. My furniture is my safe spot. I think that if I am on my furniture, you can not reach me. Seeing you on my furniture diminished the appearance of my safe haven, causing me to fear that no place is safe from you.
3. Do not come out where I can see you. Period. If you must be in my house, stay hidden and out of my line of sight. Stay in the corners, in the closet, under the furniture (never ON the furniture), behind the washer, etc. If you can see me, I can see you. So wherever you are finding yourself, if you can see me, you should not be there. Period.
4. The above rule applies even if it is dark. There are reasons for me to be awake in the middle of the night. This is, truly, the worst time for you to be out in my house. Reason being, if it is dark/night time, and I happen to spot you (which means you're violating rule #3), my night is completely shot. There is no way I will be able to go back to sleep. So if you MUST come out where I can see you, do so during the daylight hours.
5. Stay off of me. Please. If you only obey one rule, let this one be it! There are myths that you crawl all over us humans while we sleep. There are even worse myths that say humans, on average, EAT 7 spiders a year. So please, for your sake as well as mine, NEVER crawl on me!
Spiders.
Spiders are good. As long as they are outside, out of sight, and out of mind.
Have a pleasant night!