First off, I've got nothing against adults who still watch children shows and nothing against nostalgic people. It's the whiners whom I can't stand.

It's one thing to not like today's lineup of children shows, but all this "This isn't 'real' entertainment" and "Kids wouldn't like [insert old show here] because they like this crap'" is unnecessary. It is just ignorant to assume that just because this generation of kids likes what airs on TV and radio nowadays means that none of them would like things that past generations grew up on. That's an absurd stereotype. I was born in 1989, and my favorite music genre has always been soul music, which was around long before I was born. I'd rather listen to soul, rock & roll, 80s pop, etc. than today's R&B and rap music, but that could be another rant. I also prefer shows, movies, cartoons, etc. from the 90s and older to whatever is out now.

Why do people get so upset about current-generation kids watching current-generation entertainment, anyway? It's not their fault they weren't born in your or my time. If they were, they probably wouldn't be called "children". I'm sure if you were born in this generation, you'd like most of the things they like. Of course we (80-90s kids) love 90s shows. What 1990s kid did not like them?

This is the year 2011, people, and unlike in the 1990s and before, kids' channels (Nickelodeon, Disney, etc.) don't air old entertainment anymore. You can't blame the kids for not knowing all the details of shows that aired over 20 years ago.

When I was growing up, Nick at Nite had I Love Lucy, Mary Tyler Moore, Dick Van Dyke etc. Nickelodeon had Gumby, Looney Tunes, Lassie, etc. Disney had Mickey's Mouse Tracks, Jungle Cubs, Donald's Quack Attack, etc. Cartoon Network had Tom & Jerry, Underdog, The Flintstones, etc. Some of those shows were created before I was born, but I liked them anyway. According to the whiners, TV doesn't do that anymore. I'll admit, yes, it's unbalanced, and yes, airing them would be much better than a marathon of _____________ every day, and they are definitely tearing out their own roots when they shelf their own classics. But that's the way life is. Some channels canceled our parents' favorite shows to make room for ours, yet we liked our shows, despite the general opinion from our elders that those channels were going downhill.

I hear a lot of people talking bad about Dan Schneider. Because Dan created some of the Nick sitcoms of today, it's all his fault that Nick is going downhill. He churned out shows like Zoey 101 and iCarly. Big loser, huh? You know, I find it really funny that so many so-called "experts" on Nickelodeon actually claim that the creator of Kenan & Kel and All That doesn't know how to make good shows.

Some people say these new shows are mindless. Uhhhhh... aren't we the same kids who grew up on Ren & Stimpy? I liked that show, but what 2000-2009 show could possibly top the stupidity of that? We're talking about a show that was full of senseless violence, snot, blood, and male butts. A show like that wouldn't even be considered for kids nowadays with all the political correctness of our society. It barely made it on the air in its own time. Ren & Stimpy alone should be enough to kill the whole "New shows are stupid" argument coming from a 90s kid. I once heard someone say that sitcoms that target children rely more on randomness than "real" comedy. Really? You mean shows like All That didn't have random situations, like a boy somehow pulling Abraham Lincoln out of his pants? Tom & Jerry didn't star a cat who somehow gathers various weapons just to kill a mouse? Thelma (A Pup Named Scooby Doo) couldn't retrieve random items from her pocket to get her friends out of traps? What shows did you grow up to?

Some say post-2000 shows have too much content that is inappropriate for kids, whether it be something as barely noticeable as "Oh, sugar honey iced tea!" in Madagascar, or something more intense, such as a fight. First off, let me just say I don't believe in the "Children shouldn't watch certain shows because they are too young" mentality. Not all kids are as gullible and impressionable as people say, and they see a lot of that stuff in reality, anyway. Anyway, in the 90s, kids not only had Ren & Stimpy, but they had Rocko's Modern Life, which went even further than R&S, adding even more subliminal "adult" content -- mainly sexual themes -- that plenty of kids understood, considering that most of them are nowhere near as ignorant as society claims they are. All That had plenty of scenes where teenaged boys ended up half-naked. An episode of Kenan & Kel even had Kel dress as a pregnant woman and give birth to a "fluffy baby pillow".

I've even heard that children shows today are too PC and don't have enough violence and "adult" content. Make up your minds, people. Is there too much "adult" content, or too little? Cartoon Network has Adult Swim, which many kids watch, and you're kidding yourself if you think they don't. Nick has/had a show called The Naked Brothers Band. Weird name, but the title alone screams "Pervert!" to paranoid people, although we 90s kids had Weinerville. Hannah Montana is apparently a prostitute-in-training, whatever that is. Nothing I just mentioned sounds very PC to me.

And then there's people who think that everything new today is a rip-off of yesterday. You know what? You're right. Drake & Josh is a rip-off of Kenan & Kel, right down the to "Accidental Trip to Hollywood" specials. Ned's Declassified is a rip-off of Clarissa Explains It All. As Told By Ginger is... well, was a rip-off of Doug. You know what else? All That was a rip-off of Saturday Night Live. So Weird was a rip-off of The X-Files. If Tiny Toon Adventures was made today, you'd label it a rip-off of Looney Tunes. What difference does it make what copied what? Virtually everything we know is in one way or another a replica of something that came first, and not just TV shows. I'll bet plenty of 80s kids will tell me that most 90s shows are copies of their stuff. 70s kids will say that 80s shows are copies of 70s shows. Most of you think our rip-offs were good, and kids today feel the same about theirs. Nothing wrong with that, since every generation has plenty of copycats to choose from.

Other people say that kids can't relate to most TV shows. How many kids search channel after channel for a show that resembles his/her own life? Did you? We had plenty of shows we couldn't relate to, but we found them enjoyable. Could most of you relate to a bunch of teenagers who work at a ranch (Hey Dude)? Does Johnny Bravo's life look anything like yours? Are you a celebrity who wants to be an average person, like The Famous Jett Jackson? Hell, most kids can't even relate to the perfect families from typical older family sitcoms, which general society loves to shove down their throats.

And yet others say these shows will turn young girls into prostitutes. I can't stress this enough: No TV show has the power to make little girls grow into the second coming of Sharon Stone. Or anything else, for that matter; not even idiots, homos, or weaklings. I heard it's because of the kissing between teenaged characters. [Bus driver voice]You are now leaving Disneyland. Next stop: The Real World[/Bus driver voice]. Children of all ages have sat through Spider-Man kissing MJ and Felicia/Black Cat on channel 5, watched Doug and Patti (in a bikini, no less) kiss mouth-to-mouth, and have seen Mickey and Minnie kiss on every piece of merchandise they've ever been on. Not to mention, children see plenty of kissing in their lives, whether its their parents, older siblings, strangers, or even each other. But they'll become prostitutes when they see Drake Bell kiss random girls on TV? In the 21st century? In an age where teenagers have PDA almost everywhere?

Once, I read a YouTube comment stating that kids shows of today teach kids to disrespect their elders. The bad part about it was that the author posted under Boy Meets World. You know, that show where a young Ben Savage disrespects Mr. Feeny in quite a few episodes? Then he/she had the nerve to imply that this never happened in the 90s. I guess this person never saw the opening of All That, where kids and teenagers constantly harass an adult for little to no reason. He/she must have missed out on every other Nickelodeon promo, seeing that disrespecting adults was done a lot in those commercials, like in the "Takes Over Your School" sweepstakes ads where kids were encouraged to slime their principals. Even in the 80s, kids have been disrespecting elders on TV. Saved By the Bell and You Can't Do That On Television, anyone? Adults mistreat kids all the time. Why whine when it's the other way around? Especially when it's just on a TV show?

Even 90s shows that to this day air new episodes can't win. Older fans of Pokemon often complain about today's lack of variety and pointless movies. There is nothing new about Pokemon using the same plots over and over. Even in season one, the formula was one of two.

Plot 1: Ash and friends get lost/meet a person with a problem, they get sidetracked, Team Rocket gets involved, TR blasts off (again), heroes/minor Pokemon save(s) the day.

If not, then plot 2: Ash challenges gym leader, loses, trains/comes up with a strategy, and beats the leader.

As far as movies go, The First Movie was probably the most pointless of them all. Mewtwo captures and clones Pokemon against their will, even though that's why he hates humans in the first place? Ash turns into a statue and is revived by tears? Mewtwo wipes everyone's memory after they found the moral of the story? Yet, original fans -- mainly under 12 years old -- loved that movie when it was in theaters.

Of course, one of the biggest complaints older fans have about cartoons and children shows is cast changes. Some people just hate to see and hear new characters or voice changes since the last time they saw the show, even if they haven't watched it in years. Wow. Keep in mind that child actors do a little something called growing up (it's an interesting process, you should try it sometime), meaning that they can no longer fill the "evil little brother/sister" role, or that they have a chance to further their careers. Even adult voice actors can leave their role because they don't want to spend another 10 years catering mainly to kids. Or they, you know, die and stuff. And if the show would have been simply canceled, you'd all be whining anyway. It's a no-win situation, so just be happy the show is still on the air.

There are grown men/women saying, "My favorite show is better than yours", "If I was a kid right now, I wouldn't like these shows", and things of that nature. Leave the childish insults to the young children. You are some liars if you really believe that if you were a child of this generation, you would hate their entertainment. The only reason you're saying that is because of this one simple explanation: You grew out of children shows. Think about it -- if these kids grew up on Kenan & Kel and Little Bear instead of iCarly and Dora the Explorer, which would they most likely prefer? In fact, try watching children shows that aired before you were born (that you've never seen) and see for yourself that it's not a "new show" thing.

You may not like it, but Nickelodeon is gaining its highest ratings ever. That's why the NEW employees continually make NEW shows for NEW fans, rather than worry about constant complaints from grown men and women. Nickelodeon is the first network for kids, not 'the first network for disgruntled teenagers and 20-something-year-olds'. Last I saw, Nick GaS was airing too much of the same shows and either canceled or moved the good stuff to late at night, and Nicktoons TV was pretty much dead as far as old school goes, so what makes you still think they give a crap about former fans who don't practice what they preach?

CN is airing live action programs, so that's a legitimate reason to complain. Boomerang doesn't seem to be affected, so what's the problem, other than "Cartoon" Network making hypocrites of themselves?

To be honest, I haven't watched The Disney Channel in over 10 years, but (imo) it's the biggest shame of all to its namesake. No more Silly Symphonies, 2D animation, and there is a big lack of animated musicals films. Whose idea was it to kill off nearly everything ever made by Disney's own creator? But in any case, they're still topping the box office, aren't they? Not only that, but their channel's highest ratings come from 2000 shows. As long as the money keeps coming and the kids like what they see, they couldn't care less what you think about their new material.

The above are the only points I agree with. The rest are simply pathetic. You can't get into these shows? Change the channel to something that caters to you. You want to see old shows? Obviously, you have a computer, so download or stream them. You hate your child's/sibling's favorite show? Too bad, they love it, which, seeing as they are the kids and you are not, is all that matters to the creators of kid shows.

You want your favorite childhood shows back on TV? Go out and buy the DVDs. While you're at it, watch the spin-off channels. Get a clue: the reason the DVDs are getting cancelled and the spin-off channels are losing old shows is not because the main channels are so popular or because "durr... kidz r eville"; it's because of low sales and low ratings. You idiots are too busy making pointless petitions to get channels to bring back old shows, and watching the main channels just so you can pout at the new stuff, when you should have been watching Toon Disney, The N, etc. and now you have to deal with the new shows on their schedule that kill the entire point of having sister channels. If fans actually go out and buy DVDs of old shows, the marketers will say, "Hey, The Secret World of Alex Mack Season 1 just sold over a million copies! Let's get Season 2 on the shelves!" You'd think with the constant crying on YouTube, DVDs really would sell that much. But of course, society just loves to whine so loud that they can't hear common sense talking to them, which is why there are more whiny comments on YouTube than there are DVD sales.

How do you think our parents and older siblings felt when their shows were pulled off the air to make room for ours? How do you think children are going to feel when their shows get replaced by the next wave? It's just a never-ending cycle: Generation A likes these shows, they grow up, these shows get replaced by those shows, Generation B likes those shows, Most of Generation A whines about how entertainment is dying. That has to be one of the most pathetic life cycles. Our parents said the same things about what we now deem as classics: "My favorite channel was good, now it's going downhill." Kind of hard for something to go downhill when they get more and more fans year after year.

And for those of you who are saying, "Oh, but what about the children? I feel sorry for them having to watch garbage," BS. If you're so concerned about the kids, why are you so hellbent on getting rid of their shows and replacing them with yours? Besides, if you're a grown man/women who actually stresses yourself out over a network logo of all things, your kids have bigger problems.

We have Internet, CDs, cassette tapes, VHS, DVDs, spinoff channels, and reruns -- what more do you need to review your past entertainment? We have more resources than our elders, yet some of us, or rather, YOU, complain just as much. The best way to get your shows back on the air is to take every chance you can to buy the DVDs and watch the reruns. Don't go out of your way to make the 1,000,001st "Why I'm a Grown Man Crying About Kid Shows" video like the channel executives give a crap. Grow up and shut up.

"If you still enjoy children shows in your adult years, there's nothing wrong with you. But if you continually watch them and then whine about how bad you hate them, it's just disturbing." - Yours Truly

EMAIL||FLAG THIS POST