*lol* I stated in an earlier rant that I'd address my views on marriage and relationships, and here it is. Like anything I post, I have to think more in-depth before I type, to gather my thoughts fully, or else it all comes out like gibberish and makes no sense (to anyone but myself).

To be perfectly honest, I'm against marriage and relationships in general. No, I'm not some hermit, or hateful individual (though, there's a LOT of stuff in the world that irritates the crap out of me). I'm not some self-righteous hypocrite, either. It's the REASONS for a majority of them that causes me to be against the systems in general. They tend to affect more than just the two individuals as well. There's a lot of reasons for why I feel the way I do, but I'll only go into detail of a few of those reasons.

RELATIONSHIPS:

INTERRACIAL - Whether dating or married, I would not have as much of an issue with interracial couples, if the majority of them that I've seen, observed, and personally encountered wouldn't be so darn obnoxious. The worst offenders are when it's a black man/white woman combo. People in relationships should be together out of genuine mutual respect, affection, sincerity, and enjoyment of each other's company, but these fools over half the time, are acting out their issues by dating each other. Ticks me off. The black guys who have the issues are thinking they have something sooooo much better because their girlfriends are white. They turn into major snobs. They think everyone's looking at them and their 'trophies'. They talk down to others. They feel they're too good to be cordial or respectful to others, especially black females. Speaking of black females, I'm tired of these self-hating black men (and I WILL be addressing black self-hatred later) making faces at the black females they see, or acting as if every black female is foaming at the mouth out of jealousy, and THEN becoming more affectionate with their white girlfriends whenever they see a black female. Dudes, if you like your girlfriends, then what are you trying to prove?! WTF does it matter, and here's a newsflash: those black females don't want you anyway!! We can see the self-hate and snobbery a mile away, you're not all that good-looking (and neither is your girlfriend), and get over yourself!! Which brings me to the white girl equation in the couple. They're usually in one of two groups: the 'timid' group and the 'funky attitude' group. BOTH are equally annoying. You've probably seen the 'timid' group; always looking over their shoulders, and when they see black females, they tense up thinking they're about to be attacked for 'stealing' a black man. Girls, CHILL OUT. No one's going to hurt you or your feelings, and if you see a black female, there's a 99% chance she either didn't see you or just doesn't care. The 'funky attitude' group is what black females can't stand. These are the white females in the interracial relationship that either think they're so hardcore because they act like a stereotypical black woman, which makes them obnoxious, or they act like they have sticks up their butts and are really nasty to black females. Just asking to get smacked with how mean they get. Either one or both people in the relationship will be quick to constantly and repeatedly bring up the fact that they're dating someone of a different ethnicity or racial background. WHO CARES?!! It's annoying to others to be forced to witness the stupidity. Don't think I'm picking on black guy/white girl couples, because I'm not. I've seen other interracial couples that are just as crunchy. If it's not a self-hate thing, it's a racist thing: making someone into a sexual fetish, only going after someone for skin color or features, etc. PEOPLE ARE NOT TROPHIES AND SHOULD NEVER BE TREATED AS SUCH. I can always tell the difference between a couple that's sincere and one that's just putting up a front. It's just as bad as only being with someone for their looks, or their money, or their name or status.

I also am against relationships in general because they tend to only be based on sex. Peope who are TOTALLY wrong for each other will be together because of a private activity, which is just stupid. Or relationships will start simply because of lust. More people need to stop thinking with just their genitals and letting their hormones control them, and start being more logical. A lot of future problems and grief would be avoided. What's the point of someone being great in bed when that person is a walking toilet? So what if someone is 'sexy' if they're beyond idiotic and don't even have common sense? Oh, people who ADORE PDA (Public Displays of Affection) need to knock it off. It's obvious to everyone in the area when a couple is involved or together. There's no need for these individuals to act as if they're conjoined, or constantly exchange body fluids in public. GET A ROOM and have fun screwing each other's brains out IN PRIVATE. The rest of the world does NOT need to see a couple of horny morons sucking each other's faces, or squeezing the life out of each other. It's unnecessary, it's inappropriate, and I'm sure no parent wants to have to give a child an impromptu sex ed. lesson on the spot like that, or be forced to witness an activity which is borderline porno. GET A ROOM.


MARRIAGE:

Marriage should be taken more seriously, and thought out more clearly. Why has society turned it into a joke? This is why I'm against marriage in general. I feel too many people get married for all or mostly the wrong reasons. For women it (the engagement and wedding day) has become a competition to see who can be the most glamorous and beautiful bride/princess/Miss Universe. Even the most level-headed female can get caught up in the madness once she gets engaged. I really don't understand that, because when you see brides, they all look so beautiful, but afterwards they turn into trolls. It's like, what happened to you and WHY? You look NOTHING like your wedding day pic! A lot of females complain that guys only care about looks, but maybe if these same females walked around glamorous every day like they do on their wedding days they wouldn't be so insecure about their looks. Just a thought. The wedding happens on ONE DAY! But so much time and money and energy is invested into it. For ONE DAY?!!! Why not take all that money and use it to pay off bills, or store it away to make the marriage less stressful? Oh nooo, people would rather spend all their resources on extra crap just to be the center of attention for one day, so they can fight about the expenses later (and it's well-known that money is a common cause of marital strife and divorce - think of how it could have been avoided if those hundred and thousands of dollars had not been spent on stuff to be used one day; heck, they could have had a longer and nicer Honeymoon!). Also, someone tell me why the guests have all the fun and eat up all the food at the expense of the bride and groom and/or their families. But asking for money for a wedding gift is tacky/rude? Wtf?

Marrying for love alone has got to be one of the DUMBEST concepts ever created in modern times. First of all, it's LUST or INFATUATION, NOT LOVE. Secondly, love can't pay bills or put food on the table. It's really a luxury only the rich can afford. I blame Victorian-era literature and Disney. People need to get a firm grasp of reality again. If people want to look for 'true love' fine, but they need to be realistic and have twice as much common sense.

Financial security IS important in a successful marriage, but it shouldn't be the ONLY reason people are married. That's part of the reason there's reports of wives staying married to horribly abusive wealthy husbands. Money should ENHANCE life, NOT be the cause of misery. A person can be miserable WITHOUT money. Speaking of money, I'm tired of people lying to themselves, claiming money isn't all that important to them. If that's true, how come no one hears about homeless people and hobos finding love and living happily ever after? Why do people work so hard to keep their luxuries? They could just give it all up. Why is status so important? It's linked to money, that's why. It's not a crime to not want to worry about paying bills, or wonder where the next meal will come from. It's SMART.

I feel marriage has been turned into something VERY selfish. When people get married, they're not JUST marrying each other, but each other's lives: family, friends, history, social circle, etc. In the past, this was acknowledged, and was why when the subject of marriage came up, EVERYONE got involved and EVERYONE had something to say. Now, what do people hear when they get married? "It's all about YOU." This is why many families have issues about marriages (not liking a particular spouse, total cultural clashes, etc) and why married people often have issues (each person wanting to do their own thing and to heck with the other person). Lying and cheating. Breaking up for crappy reasons. Expecting the while universe and all of life's answers to come flying out of the other person's butt. Simply not wanting to be alone, so being solely dependent on someone else instead of working out their own issues (you can't offer someone else anything but problems if you haven't even dealt with your own). It's NOT all about just the husband and wife. Marriage is a support system. Always has been, always will be.

I feel marriage is cheapened because divorce is so common and easy to get. What's the point of marriage when people turn around and divorce? Why is divorce so easy? People don't think in detail when they want to marry. They focus on stupid stuff like looks, sex, and potential cute kids in the future, but they tend to ignore the REAL imporant issues, like religious beliefs, families, values, etc. People say they do, but they don't, because if they did, then divorce wouldn't happen nearly as much as it does. I'm not married, but even I know that marriage, like anything else worth having, takes effort (but at the same time, it shouldn't be a war - it's a waste of time fighting to keep someone who isn't as into you or as invested in the relationship, and this should be obvious BEFORE marriage), and I think a lot of people are lazy when it comes to marriage, which is partly why divorce is so high. I honestly think that divorce should be harder to get, or some sort of background check or evaluation done on people. You know, force people to take a step back and fully examine WHY they want to marry. It would save more people a lot of grief. Heck, there could even be marriage classes. People do so much to prepare themselves for other things in their lives, like jobs and living places, so why not marriage? Or shoot, even start bring back arranged marriage more, but with a twist (like letting the ones to be betrothed/engaged being fully involved in the negotiations). People like to snub their noses at arranged or negotiated marriages, but if you look, they usually are more successful, last longer, more likely to be the first and only marriage for the spouses, and the spouses are often happier and more satisfied - something to think about.

One other thing that makes me against marriage is how it's often only encouraged because of what the people look like. Straight marriage, gay marriage, interracial marriage, and same-race marriage, for example. Polygamy also makes marriage look bad, in my opinion.

Straight Marriage - just because a woman and man get married doesn't mean it's a good thing. People in general have issues, and two people who have no business being together can still end up married. Think of cases of abuse or violence. People need to stop encouraging it as simply 'Slot A goes into Slot B'. People love to mention children, but instead of making biological children, people could start adopting more. I also hate how people claim it's the 'norm'. The 'norm' is stuff like polygamy, which I'll discuss below, and concubines and such. I think most straight people shouldn't marry, so it's not had to guess how I feel about gay marriage. I'm about to explain before you jump on me.

Gay Marriage - I'm NOT against gay marriage because of religion (I'm not religous, but I am spiritual and NO, it's NOT the same thing). I'm NOT against gay marriage because I think it's gross or wrong (I really don't care and have more important matters to worry about than what two men or two women do together). It's the PORTRAYAL of gay marriage that makes me think negatively of the concept. While gay people don't look or behave or live (for the most part) any differently from anyone else, there IS still a difference when a relationship is involving two men or two women versus a man and woman. There's a different dynamic. Men can never be women, and women can never be men, and I really wish people would stop denying this. Add children into the equation, and the difference is more obvious, because no matter how you look at it, if a gay couple wanted biological children, they'd have to go outside the relationship to have them - I know it sometimes happens with straight couples, but it's a guarantee with gay couples, which is unfair, because currently when a gay couple breaks up, usually only one of them gets fulland total custody of the kids, and the other is left out. I'm not being mean, but it it what it is. Truthfully, I think more people in general need to adopt instead of trying to have mini versions of themselves. Now, back to the portrayal thing. It bothers me how gay marriage is so often portrayed as more loving, more affectionate, more successful, than straight marriage. It's a MYTH. Gay people are just like everyone else. Their relationships are no better or worse than anyone else's relationships, and for anyone to claim differently is an absurd thing to do. That being said, I'm not against gay people who want to be together. But just like straight people, they need to really think hard about WHY they want to be together so bad, because I see gay couples who made a fuss about getting married, only to later divorce and break up. If/when gay marriage becomes just as common as straight marriage, will there be 'gay divorces' too? What will THAT look like? One thing I DO think is crazy, though. How in many places gay people aren't allowed to be legally recognized in marriage like straight people, but people can have multiple spouses (almost always one man with multiple wives), marry children (16 year old girls can marry older men with parental consent, but if they just have sex with them, it's called 'statutory rape' - WTF?), divorce and re-marry repeatedly, even marry inanimate objects (if that's not a blatant mockery of marriage, I don't know what is). Another thing I've always found bizarre is how gay people who've been together for a while (which is called 'common law marriage' when straight people do it) have whole lives together, but some people act as if they meet for the first time and want to run out and get married.

Interracial marriage - It's STUPID to encourage people to get married just because they have different skin colors! It's not a determining factor in compatability, and when encouraged just because of physical features, it's obvious there's some racism and self-hatred involved (example, wanting to see 'pretty kids'). Just like gay marriage, it's often portrayed as somehow more loving, affectionate, and overall better than marriage in which the spouses are the same color. I also hate the argument of "Everyone's doing it". Take a good look. Most people in general (and this is as in, all over the world) live around, are attracted to, date, marry, and have children with people who have the same or similar background as themselves. This means religion, language, culture, ethnic background, and SKIN COLOR. I don't know why some insecure, self-hating, gung-ho morons started trying to convince everyone differently.

Same-race marriage - Again, it's STUPID to encourage people to get together just because of skin color, in this case, the same skin color. It's also just as racist, to me, and based not in self-hatred, but in ethnocentrism.

Polygamy - I don't know why it's still around today. It made sense in the past, when there weren't many people around, but now there are 7 billion humans on the planet. I also think it's an incredibly sexist concept that caters to the fantasy of men: a mini harem. I think it's sexist because it's almost non-existent for women, and if a woman DOES have more than one husband (as is the case in some parts of the world - and it's called 'polyandry' if I recall correctly) it's frowned upon and not taken seriously like a man having many wives. I hate the double standard of it in the United States. People going on about how 'deviant' and 'immoral' gay marriage is, but thinking polygamy is okay. Like I said, I'm against marriage in general, but since polygamy seems to be okay, why NOT acknowledge marriage for gay people?

One final thought on marriage. What's with parents wanting their children to marry people who are like themselves? That's creepy, if you think about it.

Sorry this rant was so long, but I've got a lot to say.

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