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Warning… This Rant is about the just-released movie “Orphan.” Spoiler alert!
OK?
The movie “Orphan” came out today, and it will be playing all weekend. But all the critics are saying that it’s more fun to know the Orphan spoiler than to actually see the movie. Confused? Read on…
First, here’s the plot of Orphan. (Spoiler safe.)
When John and Kate (HA!) lose a baby to a miscarriage, the stress threatens their marriage. Hoping to defeat their nightmares, the couple visits an orphanage, where they meet Esther, a mature nine-year-old girl. They adopt Esther and bring her home – but a series of home accidents lead Kate to believe that her new daughter isn’t as innocent as she seems.
Kate tries to get John to see the Orphan’s wicked side, but he ignores her… until it’s too late!
That’s the (fairly unoriginal) plot of Orphan. Spoilers start now.
It turns out that Esther has spent time in an asylum -- that’s why there are scars on her wrists and neck. But that’s not all. The seemingly nine-year-old is actually a 33-year-old woman with dwarfism (the proportional kind). Esther was a former prostitute whose clients were primarily rich pedophiles! And she tries to seduce Jon, her adoptive father! AAAH!
Horrible.
I don’t want to see Orphan. But you got to admit, that’s one hell of a spoiler. Orphan is getting a little bit of bad press because it uses the “adopted daughter tries to kill the mother” stereotype. Adoption supporters find it pretty offensive.
Does that make you want to see the movie?
(H/T to Gawker)
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