Offbeat

Rant

If you call my house again, I will find you and.....

Posted 27 months ago|6 comments|843 views
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Written by
amishking
 Moderator
Auburn, NY
Ok, let's get something straight. I have nothing against a man trying to make a living. I have nothing against someone who does a crappy job just to put food on the table for their family. I will even sit and listen to someone try to sell me something, and sometimes actually buy their products. I even bought my fence over the phone.
What I will not tolerate, is a rude salesperson who has been told several times in 6 months to please stop calling my house. I will not tolerate 2 calls a day from the same company that has been told to stop calling my house. I know I am not supposed to give out the name of this company, but the gloves are coming off tonight.

This is for the jerkoff who keeps calling my house from Barrier Windows.

Hey, Buddy.

I told you very politely 6 months ago that I wasn't in the market for new vinyl replacement windows. I asked you to please take my name off your call list. I was even nice when I found out you had been calling my wife when I wasn't home. But now you pissed off my wife, and I am the one that has to deal with the bad mood for the next couple of days, so now I gotta cut ya.
Call my house again, and I will find out where your office is and speak to your manager in person. He will be given papers that have been drawn up by my lawyer to hold you personally responsible for the mental anguish you have been causing me. I will not stop until you have lost your job and I have taken every cent you own, making you homeless, and wishing you had never picked up a phone.

Or, you can stop calling my house. Your call, so to speak. Piss my wife off one more time and make me have to deal with it, and I will make you pay, and believe me, it will cost a hell of a lot more than those cheap windows you've been trying to sell me.

Have a nice day,
Amishking.

(Sorry you guys had to see that, but you have to be direct with some people.)

Peace.
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COMMENTS
Siempre Solo
Siempre Solo
Auburn, NY
27 months ago: Don't get mad, have them order pizza. When ever I get a phone call I don't ever want to get again I always answer "Mark's Pizzeria what's your order?" They are often bewildered for a bit until they realize (wink, wink) that they didn't call the person on their call list but a business establishment. They will immediately put me on a do not call list given that they now know that the number they have is not a potential sale but a place of business. It works like a charm all the time. I used to pretend to speak a made up language but they kept calling. This way is far more effective.
THE RONBOT HUNTER
THE RONBOT HUNTER
27 months ago: Why argue? Just put the phone down and go about your business. They will talk for a minute and realize that there is no one there.

For fun, one time I asked them to prove their business was real.

I asked him to send a letter with his company's Federal Employer Identification Number (FEIN) OR (EIN).

That I was going to send them a presentment letter, with a counter-claim, to make them default on.

Upon default I would file a lien with a "Notary Certificate of Non-Response".

When they find out what I was talking about, they knew that they would be st-up for a private contract, that they would agree to by non-rebuttal.

I would have taken them for a lot of money or ruined them for daring to mess with me.

KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!!!

THE RONBOT HUNTER
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TheLegendTomWing
TheLegendTomWing
 Administrator
Philadelphia, PA
27 months ago: i usually try to sell them something back. Like hey, I'll get new windows if you subscribe to 15 years of back issues of National Geographic!
markbyrn
markbyrn
 Moderator
27 months ago: Here's the absolute funniest solution I've ever heard for handling a telemarketer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkdoogjic...
TheLegendTomWing
TheLegendTomWing
 Administrator
Philadelphia, PA
27 months ago: ahh Tom Mabe, he's the greatest, i also love the one where he's trying to get his kid to buy more beer while on the phone with a police fundraiser.
Content Removed by DeeJay
23 months ago: I got rid of my home line due to this. Great rant!

markbyrn...that video was hilarious!!

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