Food

Rant

I thee accused...

Posted 37 months ago|24 comments|2,643 views
Written by
amishking
 Moderator
Auburn, NY
I have been falsely accused.

Last night, I took my lovely wife to a restaurant. The young waitress came and took our order, and I struck up a conversation with her about all of her ear piercings. After she left the table, my wife shook her head with a smile on her face, saying:

"Where ever we go."

I replied,

"What are you talking about?"

"Where ever we go, you have to flirt with the waitress."

I was flabbergasted.

Since when does having a conversation with someone flirting?

I said nothing close to sexual to her, just talked to her like she was a person.

Was I flirting? As a newlywed, maybe I'm a little shaky on the line between conversation and flirting. My wife is not a jealous person, and she wasn't mad at all, but, as a married man, am I not supposed to talk to women anymore?

Let's hear some feed back. I might need it the transcripts during the divorce proceedings.

Thanks.
EMAIL|FLAG THIS POST
COMMENTS
37 months ago: Guilty. Until she tells you otherwise.
Did you leave at tip? If so you actually were paying for...

Grovel more next time.
That usually works for me.
TheLegendTomWing
TheLegendTomWing
 Administrator
Philadelphia, PA
37 months ago: hmm as someone who is not married, but sees parents at restaurants often enough. Ask for a different waitress, preferably one with male genitalia who drools.

That'll solve it!
37 months ago: Tom. Striking up a conversation with the aforementioned would indeed cause a...

'You find that more attractive than me' debate...

Which you will lose.

I'm wondering if AKLs little CONVERSATION was the highlight of his female interaction last night.

I'm laying money on - yes.
amishking
amishking
 Moderator
Auburn, NY
37 months ago: Cypress,

You are too harsh, Cypress.

Jealous 'cause you can't spark up a CONVERSATION with an attractive younger woman without it being a pickup?

I'm laying money on -yes.
37 months ago: Ouch. I didn't start this debate.
FYI. I do have a real good set of binoculars.
I was able to save up some of my lunch money.

It took me a while to find a set that matched the ring in my nose.
amishking
amishking
 Moderator
Auburn, NY
37 months ago: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Now I have to pee.

37 months ago: It gets better.

'OUR' vacuum cleaner broke down a few years ago.
A stinking vacuum cleaner.

I made the mistake of saying 'find one you like'.

I didn't know there were so many vacumm cleaners.
We actually made a road trip to an Oreck showroom.

Well, $800.00 (yeah 8 hundred dollars) later we had a vacuum that has a 20 year warranty. And all of the 'FREE' accesories that could pick up a bowling ball.

I don't know about you but.. I don't have that much of a need to be able to pick up a bowling ball with a vacuum accessory.

Don't get me wrong the Oreck has been a great vacuum.

I (not my little babe) have to carry it in to be sent back to Oreck every year to maintain the warranty.

Get ready for this one to hit the fan.
amishking
amishking
 Moderator
Auburn, NY
37 months ago: I'm not touching that bowling ball line.
37 months ago: I didn't think you would.

Las tuercas en un torno... and all.

Do you think the wife and I could strike up a CONVERSATION?

funnin...

Rudi Stettner
Rudi Stettner
 Moderator
37 months ago: 1)Jealousy is like salt. A little spices things up. Too much and the soup is unfit for human consumption.
2) If she says "Do whatever you want, do NOT do whatever you want.
3)Marriage is an institution for people who need to be committed.
Jeanopera
Jeanopera
Kansas City, MO
37 months ago: Perhaps she saw the dinner as a lovey dovey all about the two of you thing, in that case she might have wanted you two as a couple to be the center of the night. You simply talking to the waitress should be no big deal at all, sounds like she was in a crappy mood and took it the wrong way. I know I let silly things slip out when Im feeling down and out while with my boyfriend.....

or shes a crazy lady who didnt let you see the jealous side of her until you were married!!! I doubt it though :)
37 months ago: Mounting a van Gogh. That's funny.
Damn Jean. That is all I can say.
Jeanopera
Jeanopera
Kansas City, MO
37 months ago: Say whhaat cypress?
37 months ago: Don't take it wrong. I was thanking you for the softer sides input. Yes, we somtimes are lead into spending the 'Rest of Our Lives' with a Pyscho. Most of the time we can get the health plan to cover the scripts.

Just having fun... Thanks for striking up a conversation..

Wink..wink..
Jeanopera
Jeanopera
Kansas City, MO
37 months ago: Oh no problem, I like to lean on the brighter side of things. Im hoping that the wifey isnt a pyscho :)
37 months ago: Oh, wait... stupid me.. being male and all.
That reply was a to both solo and you.

Go back and read solo's replies and the yours.
Damn me for not seperating those...

We move fast here...
37 months ago: Sorry Jean,

They all are.
amishking
amishking
 Moderator
Auburn, NY
37 months ago: For the record:

My wife was NOT mad at me.
She thought it was funny.
I did not get into any kind of trouble.
She knew what she was getting into when she married me.

ANY MORE TALK OF MY WIFE BEING PSYCHO WILL RESULT IN INSTANT BANISHMENT FROM AMISHKINGLAND.

That is all.

LOL
37 months ago: Dude. I was talking about my wife.
amishking
amishking
 Moderator
Auburn, NY
37 months ago: Cypress,

Remember your response about jokes being taken as insults and vice versa?

I was kidding dude.
37 months ago: What? I can't be serious for one stinking minute?

My wife is a loon. I'm loonier....

OK. I'll start working on new materialf.
Coloranter Raver
Coloranter Raver
Denver, CO
37 months ago: AKL, I think you know the difference between flirting and conversation. So, I'll stick up for you! I still think Tom Wing has the best solution though.

Post a Comment
Sign in or sign up to post a comment.