GI Joe Review: C+


Pros: Another ‘80s cartoon IRL; No tricky “plot” to follow.

Cons: Co-produced by Hasbro, the film is basically 118 minutes of product placement and explosions.


This is the summer of epic movies. Explosions rule and critics cry in the corner. The reviews for GI Joe: Rise of Cobra are clear: the movie is in the vein of Transformers 2 and Street Fighter.

The first tip that GI Joe was lower than a popcorn flick was the studio’s choice to not screen the movie for critics, except for some crazed fanboys who proclaimed it “SO AWESOME!”

In the new GI Joe movie, there is tons of bloodless violence (PG-13) and things blowing up and crashing. Of course, our heroes are invincible thanks to a mysterious pain-killing enhancement drug. It’s not much fun watching a movie where the guys are immortal and flawless.

Here’s the “plot” of the GI Joe movie: a paramilitary force with high-tech equipment battles terrorists. See also: Team America: World Police.

Is GI Joe the future of action film? The director, Stephen Sommers, (previous films: vampire GGI-fest Van Helsing and The Mummy, 1 and 2) must have used every dollar of his budget on the CGI boys in the lab – you’d think that they could have used a few shekels on rewriting the script.

This GI Joe review is meant to tease a silly film, not discourage you from seeing it – by all means, spend 20 bucks on an action-fest. Just don’t expect there to be any plot or redeeming qualities.

YO JOE!

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