What is it in us that wants to criticize another person? Why do we like to look at others and hold them up to scrutiny, a scrutiny we could not pass ourselves.
It took me a long time in myself, to see that a critical spirit merelys speaks a reflection of itself. I realized that when I said mean things or even thought them about another person. That I was often speaking from my own ignorance and fears. I also started to see in others when they said things that they were doing the same.
I knew a man who was overweight who always made comments about others weight. Or the abusive husband who has to control because he has always been controlled. The child who hurts others at school, who is getting hurt elsewhere. The person who says you are stupid because they themselves feel stupid.
We tend to criticize others where we ourselves are weak. Where we ourselves are vulnerable. It comes often from a place of hurt in ourselves or an area of weakness.
I think of the saying, "misery loves company". It is so true. People who are down love you to be down with them.
For me it started a new path in my life. I saw others differently and more compassionately. It allowed me to see a bit of who they are. With practice it is also easy to lift others up. To not be offended by persons who are merely speaking a reflection of themselves. To understand where it is coming from.
I saw a young girl walking down the road. She was perhaps 15 years old. She was dressed head to toe in black, long dress, sweater, stockings, gloves. She wore a collar around her neck like a dog. I really wanted to say what an idiot she looked liked, a failure. Who the heck would dress like that? Yet who was I to talk. I had been a rebellious teen once. I wore strange clothes sometimes, just for attention. Was I useless? No! Is she , of course not.
A friend of mine worked with youth. One youth constantly confronted him, saying mean things, no matter what this person did. This person chose not to react but to continue to speak positively to this youth. One day this youth rode past this persons home. Stopped in the driveway and spoke normally. No more insults, no more being rude to him. The youth allowed him to speak into his life, in a good way.
We can react to what others say or we can try to see where it comes from, and choose to react in love.