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I really can't relate to what happened in Haiti. Truthfully, I more or less don't care. Not just Haiti, but New Orleans when Hurricane Katrina happened, the Tsunami in 2004, China and the earthquake or flood that happened, even New York City on 9/11. I know bad things happen, and I try to feel bad, but I really can't. Not that I don't want to, I just can't.
I can't relate when stuff like that happens. It always seems so far away to me. I have relatives who were in New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina, but I've never met them and don't even know them, so they're strangers like all the rest.
I know it's probably mean, and if you're confused by me, heck, I'm just as confused as you are about myself. I see the tragedies and the most I end up thinking is, "Wow. Sucks for them. Glad it wasn't me." and I KNOW that's not nice, but it's how I always end up thinking.
It all just seems so distant from me and my life and my experiences and my own problems, so I can't ever relate or empathize. It's only after I've met someone, in person, who was affected, that I start to care. Then I can actually put a face and a life story to it, instead of viewing it all simply from the outside.
Talk about Cancer, and I feel, because I experienced it. My mom had cancer. She died from it. I know what that's like. But I and no one close to me has ever experienced an earthquake, or a tornado, or a hurricane, or a tsunami, a volcano, or basically any natural disaster like that, with that type of destruction. The worst we experience is the cold (I feel bad when I hear of someone being out in the cold).
I'm guessing part of the reason why I can't feel for others like what's happening in Haiti now (and will happen somewhere else in the future) is because it happened so far away. I can't go there, I can't do anything, I don't know anyone, so the part of my brain that normally WOULD feel bad gets 'blocked', if that makes any sense.
Just the other day, I was driving somewhere, and I saw a woman whose car was stuck in the snow. I didn't know her. I pulled over, got out, and helped her get un-stuck (along with two ladies who also stopped to help). I helped her because I felt bad for her because I know what it's like to get stuck in the snow (and also because she was in the way and blocking a large part of the street). But the point is, I felt more badly for this one woman than I ever could for a whole group of people who got stuck in the snow. She was right there, I could help her, and I had experienced what she was experiencing.
If I haven't personally experienced a loss, and/or have no emotional connection to anyone who has suffered, I find it hard to feel. I even have a different reaction depending on WHO is suffering. I'm more inclined to feel more badly for young people (especially children) than old people, non-human animals more than adult humans (and I'm softer toward chidren and non-humans equally - unless the kids did something stupid), etc. With me, it seems to frequently be in contradiction of how society says I SHOULD feel. Which always leaves me feeling confused more than anything (like right now).
People are so quick to mention the 'Human Element' (whatever that means) and how we should all feel bad simply because it's other humans, but really? Humans repeatedly do horrible things to each other, and often figure out ways to kill each other and destroy everything around them in ways similar to nature (or however else they get hurt), and I'm supposed to be heartbroken just because we're the same species?
If I was there, or knew someone very close to me who was, I could probably fully relate and empathize with others. But since I see so much crap happen in the world, I don't know, I guess I've become desensitized. I know I'm certainly confused about it all.
If something bad happened to ME, I wouldn't expect total strangers to care.
*** One thing I WILL say about what's happening in Haiti and other places that had disasters. Why does a lot of the focus tend to be placed on the misery of the rich/better-off, and the better-looking when bad things happen? They're all equally miserable over there, so why does it seem to matter more if a mansion was collapsed, or some cute kids or attractive people got hurt? Also, why is more emphasis placed on the Americans over the Haitians? Is it just a larger-scale version of what happens with me when I hear about disasters?