and we shall all the miseries prove.
I'm a single woman, fairly recently uncoupled, though never married. I've recently had a reminder of how I am watched in the neighborhood, being considered "free" and sorely in need of a man because I engage in rather manly yard work, e.g. I'm not shy about wielding a pick ax.
I live in a low income neighborhood with a good deal of unsavory neighbors, as well as a few gems. I'm always hoping to increase the gem ratio and perhaps have taken some to be gems simply by comparison to the stinkers. A family who controls their dogs and their children decently is looked on kindly by me. So when the male part of a couple who are able to control their kids and their dogs came by my house at 9:30 on a Sunday night and asked to come in, I opened my door to him despite being in bed clothes (nothing provocative--I don't do provocative--it doesn't seem necessary). As he walked in, I realized he was drunk, not tottering drunk but reeking. Still, I thought maybe he actually needed a neighborly favor of some sort. Not so. I soon discovered his wife had left him and had picked up the kids that evening.
Why do men get drunk at these moments and think this is going to be appealing to anyone? My own former partner posted a picture of himself at a bar after I broke up with him. Why did my neighbor think I would be sympathetic? I'm more likely to wonder what he did that made her ditch him. And just what was the nature of the sympathy he was expecting? I'll give him credit for not making a physical pass at him. However, he didn't take my hint when I said, "maybe we can continue this conversation at another time because I have to work tomorrow." Not the first time and not the second time as I went to the door. I actually had to motion for him to get up off the couch and come to the door, making it exceedingly clear that he was to leave NOW. The penultimate words out of his mouth before leaving the couch were, "when is the last time you boyfriend was over." I restrained myself from saying, it doesn't matter in the least because I'm not having anything to do with you in any case.
Really, someone tell me. What was he expecting?
I'm actually happy being manless but I'm beginning to think I need to hire someone to come by every now and then, leave out the back way so people think he's staying, and then do the reverse later in the day--just to keep the forlorn neighbors at bay. Sheesh!