Arts & Entertainment

Rant

Close Kauri Cliffs before another alleged Celebrity Death

Posted 24 months ago|3 comments|848 views
Alleged Cliffs
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Over the past couple of years, Jeff Goldblum, Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks and Brad Pitt have all allegedly died in separate accidents at Kauri Cliffs, New Zealand.

Each actor allegedly died while filming a movie in New Zealand early on various mornings.

Alleged preliminary reports from New Zealand Police officials indicated that the actors fell more than 60 feet to their deaths on the Kauri Cliffs while on-set.

The accidents all allegedly occurred at approximately 4:30 a.m. (UTC/GMT +12). Additional details and information will allegedly be forthcoming.

In each case, however, the reported death was soon reported as an alleged hoax.

Nevertheless, it would be wise to close the cliffs before another celebrity dies, or at least to stop filming in third world countries and use computer-generated backgrounds.

Of all the actors least likely to have died, Tom Cruise is the least likeliest, because of his mastery of Scientology. It is true that L Ron Hubbard once fell off his motorcycle and broke several bones, while chasing a cat burglar, but an accident like that would have killed a normal person, and he healed in just a few hours.

Also, check out www.scientology.org. It's free.
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THE RONBOT HUNTER
THE RONBOT HUNTER
24 months ago: Jack "Hoax" Remington

Broken bones that completely heal in just a few hours?

Scientology actors coming back to life?

When will you stop these lies Mr. Hoax?

The world is waiting for proof of your cult's claims for decades.

Stop the Bull and end cycle with your R2 45 and give us a break.

I tell it like it is, I pull no punches, tell no lies, and I am as I am

THE ONE AND ONLY RONBOT HUNTER
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Out Of The Box
Out Of The Box
 Moderator
24 months ago: Ok, now I'm convinced. Jack is not a Scientologist, or at least he does not believe all the crazy stories propagated by the Church of Scientology.

As to Hubbard's accident, I have a similar story, except in my wreck, I completely severed my left leg at the hip. Before I could ride my bike home, I had to grow a new leg, because the shifter pedal is on the left side of the motorcycle. I also used the severed leg to grow a a duplicate of myself, which I use for tasks that I really don't want to do, like going to work and visiting the in-laws.
24 months ago: Dumb idea "it would be wise to close the cliffs before another celebrity dies". Shall we also forbid bicycle riding and walking ANYWHERE? How about driving or riding in automobiles or trains and planes, oh wait a minute, hold the presses, no more sleeping on raised platforms or showering while standing up! Let's also close all access to balconies, elevated walkways, bridges, and (of course) any and all areas of nature that are more than six inches above the surrounding terrain and even then we need to install guard rails! Like I said, DUMB IDEA.

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