Imagine the scene: an Alaskan hunter crouches, aims, and fires. A deer falls on the tundra. The hunter rushes over, but a dark, dripping arm reaches up out of the water, grabs the dead deer, and pulls it into the depths!

This scenario isn’t true YET, but it’s not too far in the future. This is true.

Hunters HAVE discovered a weird Alaskan blob of goo near the Chukchi Sea, in northern Alaska. “Goo” is the layman’s term for an unknown substance – probably biological – that is at least a few miles square, floating in the ocean.

The U.S. Coast Guard and a team of research scientists have airlifted samples of the thick, dark “Alaskan blob” to labs all over the country. Preliminary results point to a biological origin, but it’s not algae, and it’s not oil.

The scanty “Alaska goo” news reports say the substance is sticky, smells rotten, and even has “hairy strands” on it. It has trapped jellyfish and sea birds in its gluey strands (while preparing for human-sized prey?) and confused the heck out of scientists in Alaska. Blob movies mock the idea of a super-sized Alaska goo creature, but I’m a little scared.

Fortunately, the Alaska blob is fairly slow-moving, so we should be able to outrun it when it beaches in Seattle. Leave the weak and infirm behind. (This phenomenon should at least turn into an “Alaska Goo” movie.)


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